We've ALL been a customer. From checking out at the grocery store, to paying bills, to haggling over a back alley handy; we have all been in the position of needing to deal with someone for wares or services.
Personally, I try to be polite, open and understanding even if I'm not happy about my bill, service etc. Getting angry and nasty has never really gotten me anywhere so I try to be the nicest customer I can be, and hope that being nice might get me SOMEWHERE.
Now...many of us WORK in the customer service industry or we deal with the general public in some fashion. (I will not tell you where I work because I don't need the prank calls or heavy breathing. well...maybe the heavy breathing.) Many customers/clients I work with are easy and pleasant which makes my job easy and pleasant.
Back to the flip side of that same pancake...there are those clients/customers, who aren't cool and groovy. When I see them stroll into my place of business, I wish I could eat a bullet …
Reasons You’re Not Getting A ‘Critter-Written’ Dillon Christmas Letter in 2014" As Explained by; Ozzy,
& the Cats; Sass, Bunson, Moby, Church, Poe, Lil B, Fathead, Spot, Petunia
& Beepers 10.Because of the shitty economy, Santa signed up
for unemployment,ate two of his
reindeer and pimped out most of his vertically enhanced elves (take a minute to
think about that last one). So there will be no Christmas Cheer spread to
anyone, not even to smug bastards like yourself who feel entitled to Christmas
Cheer. 9.We sent you Christmas letters 3 years in a
row.Go back and read one of them. 8.We really don’t like you. 7.We found out some of you don’t read our
letters.And on that note, see reason
number 8. 6.Most people’s Christmas letters are
boring.Our letters are quirky, fun and
entertaining as all hell.We decided it
was best not to make yours look bad.There’s a thoughtful gift. Merry Christmas. 5.Because this letter will make your ass look
fat.So will all the Christ…
We all have those conversations with our spouses that we can't believe we're having. Here's a smattering of such conversations with my hubby. *sigh*
Me: Why does your side of the couch smell like butt?
Him: I don't know.
(sniffs around a bit and finds the offending stench from one of the critters)
Me: Oh wait, it's dog or cat puke.
Him: Where'd that come from?
Me: I guess the puke fairy.
Me: Hey you know that; charcoal filter, jar of mustard, new pack of batteries, gallon of milk, screwdriver, stove, hat, cigarette lighter, bottle of hot sauce, shirt you said was stolen...missing... etc....well I found it.
Him: Where was it?
Me: Where it usually is.
Him: Well, I couldn't find it. You must have moved it.
Me: Yes....yes I must have moved it.....to give me room to put your dead body.
Him: What are you listening to? Turn that off. Your music sucks.
Me: Why is it the music you listen to is fant…
Now, let me backpedal a little; not all people suck...all the time. Come on, we ALL suck a little. We can't help ourselves. As humans our genes give us lips...which create suction and in turn causes us to say really sucky things to each other.
And as a writer, I have had my ass handed to me by people who hate my blog posts, stories and apparently my face. Damn my face!
Case in point...
"Thanks for being an annoying c**t for no reason."
This sweet little love note was sent to me from a stranger veiled behind a computer screen via the comments section of a social platform.
So what did I do to deserve this adorable pet name from a stranger?
Did I send an obnoxious game request over and over....and over.
Did I send a chain letter email that would bring death and destruction to them if they didn't forward it?
Did I send them a Trojan and not the glow in the dark, little rubber kind?