The Worst Scary Stories Never Written: Yet.....

I know a few things about scary horror stories. So take my word for it, if these stories are ever written; the great horned beast will rise from his trappings of Hell (which is probably a disgusting scripted reality show starring the Kardashians) and from his belly will brew a noxious fart that when unleashed from his pert sphincter, shall envelop the earth, raping your nostrils and clawing through your throat.

Only then will you truly understand the beasts Biblical rage and you will giggle! For the beast cannot properly digest queso dip.

His evilness is lactose intolerant. 

Enjoy the list and feel free to add to it!!

•          Digging up Mommy
•           I was Haunted by Chas Bono’s Breast Fat
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•          Children of a Lesser Corn
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•          The Monster that Wouldn’t Come Out of the Closet
•          Black Cats- Racist Witches
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•          Eating for Two -You and Your Tapeworm
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•          I Sold My Soul for a Kia Optima (Better Gas Mileage)
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•          The Sandwich that Wouldn’t Be Eaten
•          Why Black isn't Always Beautiful (The story of 
•     Frostbite)
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•          Why Grilled Cheese will NEVER Talk
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•           Grammy put Pappy in a Home Because He's Going to 
•     Die... and I Helped!